For a person who lives outside her native country, going back home for holidays is a mix of joy and pain. I just got back from 2 weeks home and I still feel both. Joy for seeing my family, and pain for leaving them. Joy for being back in the wonderful London, and pain for being far from home. It’s all there in my heart, it’s all together.
Life is more intense when you live abroad, because you’re always leaving something: whether you’re going back home and you’re leaving your new house or coming back to your new home and leaving your old one. Joy and pain are always in my heart at the same time. It’s very intense. And it gets very lonely at times, because your family and friends are far away and you can count only on yourself. Yes, you’ve got new friends and a new home, but you’re still alone and far from your roots. Sometimes I feel like when I was 6 and I got lost in the mall.
And then suddenly that feeling of loneliness starts transforming and becomes strength and excitement. Yes I’m still feeling the 6 year old lost in the mall, but I also enjoy the adventure. And that’s when a enormous sense of gratitude comes to my heart.
I’m grateful because life is a wonderful adventure.
I’m grateful because I can choose where to live, while many people can’t.
I’m grateful because I’ve had so many beautiful experiences so far and I know that many more will come.
I’m grateful because I look at future as an opportunity, while many people are not so lucky.
And I’m grateful because I have a wonderful family who loves me no matter what. Thanks for being there.